After five post-college years in the often complex world of Orthodox Jewish dating—from online dating to old-fashioned matchmaking (the "shidduch" system)—JNS Editor in Chief Jacob Kamaras got married this January. He reflects on the sometimes arduous and sometimes humorous dating process, and on finding "the one."
Lovers have been spurned and jilted for eons, but cyberspace is brand new. Does the Internet age reveal any lessons for Jewish daters?
Jews, perhaps as a result of our accomplishments, fall prey to what looks good on paper: Orthodox Jews may refer to literal shidduch resumes, and secular Jews often assess education, job title, and residence to determine whether a date should even happen. JNS.org singles columnist Sasha Ingber says avoid the paper trail shortcut and take time to understand a person’s substance.
JDate’s “Club Getaway” weekend had all the promise of speed dating, but also all of its distractions due to so much variety, multitude and the whirlwind nature of it all. JNS.org’s columnist had a great time and would go again, but would have enjoyed activities geared more toward meeting people.
Meeting Jews in far-off places, whether locals or fellow travelers, can change the course of your travels and life.
In addition to evaluating what aspects of your Jewish identity matter in your relationship, be honest about your personality traits and their compatibilities.
Avoid “future planning conversations” and instead find the words that show your charisma, kindness, humor and humility.
Jewish singles specialist Nancy Slotnick returns to her relationship roots through the “Matchmaker Café” Facebook app.
Bad dates allow you to appreciate your life—which your former date will blissfully never be a part of.